Unsatisfied life

Not exactly 'depressed' anymore, but You still live life like it's worth something. You may have had a period where you were REALLY depressed, mostly because you had fallen victim to the syndrome of 'you're no

t anybody if you're not rich/famous', but luckily that's over with when university started. Fame's still in the 'would be cool' category, but it's not as important as before.vThe problem of feeling completely emotionless all day. Eating like some kid, smoke cigarettes doing drugs, just so that victim can have the experience of the taste over and over again. Sitting around all day feeling worthless, getting really good at something, but it still doesn't spark emotion like it used to because taking it more seriously so hopefully use it in a future career. If that doesn't turn out a beautiful University waiting for you where I'm going to learn how to be a good at something (still not a thing for you). Always looking forward to meet new amazing people

Yet, finding unable to really get the most out of life, it seems. having loving friends and family but after the year spent in depression it feels like you are the only person in the world sometimes. Can't easily talk to anyone in family, none of them are really artists, so it feel as though they don't really understand the angle that you try to take on life. It's hard to keep in contact with artistic friends, because they're always moving to different classes or different places. Never had a friend over to my house in quite months. Some what like Facebook and cell phones because they seem so natural sometimes.

Going on that note,people hate a lot of things in this century and wish they were in a different time, a vintage time with all old stuff. but picked up an interest in old classical music and as its quite soothing in point of view and the flat plotted books of this time frame that are below I.Q.. not saying a big genius or anything, but just interested in things with more of a depth and complexity. Trying to go below that it entertains for a few seconds and then losing interest really quickly. Don't need to be constantly entertained, but just taking in knowledge and spurting out poetry and stories or making music aren't making feel alive. Feeling just like a machine going to the same university everyday and doing the same pointless work (classes and writing). Doing the work but not feeling the work.

Might just be restless and wanting to try something new. A new hobby might help, but certainly not into sports or any sort of pointless game except one specific indoor game..don't have to be 'happy' happy but want to feel something. Trying to feel alive by crying but can't. don't want to go down that road again of course.just need a new angle.